


heal

by orphan_account



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Angst, F/M, Unrequited Love, this is just angst and nothing else
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-22
Updated: 2015-12-22
Packaged: 2018-05-08 08:30:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 541
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5490554
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>and I don't have the heart that you think I do</i>
  <br/>
  <i>and you give me so much, it's too much to lose</i>
</p><p>She shouldn't be awake at this hour.</p>
            </blockquote>





	heal

**Author's Note:**

> shoutout to harmony again for proof-reading this! and also don't leave me alone with sad playlists or this will happen.
> 
> enjoy!

She thinks someone's at the window, but when she turns all there is is the still night air and the faint glow of street lamps. 

She doesn't know if she should be thankful, really, that he isn't here. 

She curls up tighter, knees hugged to her chest. She should be asleep, like any other sensible teenager, yet she can't help but wait for that tiny knock on her window. Why is she even waiting for him? It's a question she'll never be able to answer. 

She sighs and turns over, her back to the window. There's a strange ache in her heart and she wills it to go away, but it hasn't moved from within her ribs for days. She's spent days quietly suffering beneath her calm composure at her desk, barely registering anything Alya says. The pain spreads and for a moment she tries to squash it down, hands clenching into fists. 

But no, the feeling burns the longer she thinks about him. With a strangled groan she grips her knees tighter, as though it would alleviate the pain in her chest. Him. She could almost feel his touch on her skin, echoing the nights where they gave in to each other like guilty pleasures and she would sleep with a slowly growing tinge of regret in her heart. 

She wonders if she should have met Chat first, before all this nonsense started. Before she had to tear herself apart trying to figure out which direction her heart was trying to lead her, akin to a broken compass leading a desperate explorer. 

She knows who he's after. It's not like he makes it subtle, especially on nights when their hearts spill onto the floor before the other and they can't do anything but look at the messes they've made before he has to go. It hurts because she doesn't want him to love her like that. She doesn't even know why. 

Her other half isn't all it's cracked up to be, she reckons. Ladybug isn't all confidence and smiles. She doesn't know why he's so fixed to her, even though she knows that part of her is hidden somewhere, behind curtains that would only open when it was her turn as Ladybug. It’s an unspoken fear but it still strikes terror into her. 

She's afraid of disappointing him. He's poured so much love out for that part of her, she can't bear breaking his heart with the rest of her. Sometimes she thinks that it would have been better to have Ladybug as a twin sister, just so that it would be easier to deal with this. It's a bitter thought but she wishes for it all the same. 

She wants to love him back but it hurts too much. Mentally she curses him for perching on her balcony on the night that started it all, suppressing memories of delirious confessions under the faint glow of the street lights. God, why did she let him kiss her?

Even now, under the covers of darkness she can feel his lips ghosting over hers, a phantom reminder of the pain in her heart. 

God, it hurts. 

She shuts her eyes and prays for a dreamless sleep, while a black claw stops mid-knock.


End file.
